Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I think I must be Backwards unit 5 post
I found the subtle mind exercise to be more difficult than the loving one. I guess even though I many times have a hard time loving myself I have a very easy time showing kindness and compassion to others so the thoughts of loving kindness are easy to incorporate....I am not very good at turning off the chaotic stuff in my mind though. I suffered a sever brain injury as I flew through a windshield at 60 MPH several years ago....Since then....my mind is never sublte....my thoughts never seem to quiet down. I suffered total amnesia and it took 10 months just for my conscious mind to break back through.....when ever i try to meditate or grow closer to my inner mind or my subtle mind, or any part of my mind I hear a chaotic chattering...like the school teacher in Brigadoon is it as if all my past memories that are still blocked are fighting to break free. in many ways this makes me want to practice and practice in the hope of healing the gulf and in other ways it makes me leery of the fight that seems to await me
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That was most beautifully wrote! Sorry to hear about the injury...and thank you for sharing. When I was in high school I was out for a run in the TETONS (mountains) with some pals and I past out, they carried me back to the school where I ended up having a seizure which I guess made my heart stopped becuase they had to use the paddles to get it back going. I'm not really sure what the doctors and hospital did. I don't remember 5 weeks of my life....at all. And, like you, it took some time to recouperate from that ordeal. But I see it this way. Going through an event like that has only made me stronger. I am a different person than before (of course Im all grown up now). I think it takes a strong woman to go through an accident like yourself and to pull through it and be able to say "I beat that!"
ReplyDeleteI think the chitter chatter in our minds, especially women, is true for most people. I feel it has to do with how we live in today's time. Now we know some ways to quiet it down for a bit....and don't be scared of what you might discover- be strong:)
Wow Shelley! That is so awesome for you that you have overcome such extreme event. Thank you for sharing. Since you have overcome so much already I say dont give up on meditation. A subtle mind is a hard thing to acquire but once ou do it will be worth it.
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